Woman Sabotages Her Daughter's Wedding, When Daughter Stands Up for Herself, Mother Conducts a Smear Campaign Against Her

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  • 01
    r/ r/weddingdrama u/Watuppeaches • 1d . I'm pretty sure my mom is trying to sabotage the wedding.
  • 02
    I've lost so much sleep over everything my mom (MOB) has been doing lately. For context: I am the bride, in my 30's, and never married before, my fiancé is by far the kindest and most gentle man I've ever met and has been my rock during my battle with my health for the past two years. This should be one of the happiest moments in our lives.
  • 03
    We've had so many blessing during this journey, however my mom has done nothing, but verbally attack me, make digs at me, yell at me, try to control the guest list, ware me out, and make me cry. All while contributing zero financially and mentally (unless you count the negative parts as contributing).
  • 04
    To top things off she berates me (calls me things like "moron" "stupid" "idiot" etc) until I snap and stand up for myself, and then uses my reaction to her as a smear campaign to try convince family members not to come. She has made comments about how my hair looks messy and I need to cut off a significant portion of it and lighten it. My hair is very dark, extremely long & goes down to my but I take care of it & think it's beautiful. She also
  • 05
    yelled at me the other day for not choosing a venue that she wanted and I wasn't even considering, never even looked at, it's $4000 more expensive & not as pretty as the venue I chose. I told her how I felt about her treatment, how it just makes me cry & I'm tired of it, and she called me disrespectful, ungrateful and then proceeded to threaten that, she's "going to be a bad mom".
  • 06
    The other thing is it's a normal thing in my family for the MOB to throw the bridal shower not the MOH. Every bride in my family, including my sister (her favorite child), has had their shower thrown for them by their moms. I asked my mom 6 months ago when would work best for her and what she would need from me, she just blew me off. We're less than 2 months away from the wedding now & I've just come to accept that I wouldn't get one. This past
  • 07
    weekend I was at my fitting. She wasn't there, but my step mom was (I have divorced parents & gained a really amazing bonus family because of it). We were talking and she asked when the shower was and I just told her my mom isn't planning one. My stepmom & step gma (my biological grandparents are all deceased) weren't going to accept that & instantly rallied together to start planning a small, last minute on for me.
  • 08
    Now I'm getting flack from my mom's side of the family for letting my bonus family plan it. It's literally let my bonus family plan it or don't have one at this point. My mom had the opportunity to do it for months and chose not to. How can they be mad that I have people in my life who care about me. My mom has been otherwise absent during this whole process unless she wants to call or text me just to yell at me, make me feel bad, or tell me I need to disinvite people who are actively in my life
  • 09
    At this point, she's currently giving me the silent treatment (which is a nice alternative to her yelling) and I wouldn't be surprised if she just no shows to the wedding to be spiteful or wears white to try to make the day about her. There's a lot more she's done, but I'm too tired to type it all. Any other brides have an out of control MOB? How did you handle/ deal with it all? 194 ☐ 75 ୪
  • 10
    Talk AboutTheWay • 1d I would uninvite her and put her on blast to all the flying monkeys she sends. I would also uninvite those flying monkeys. She is not a mom. Reply 263
  • 11
    Feeling-Fab-U-Lus⚫ 1d Make sure you document when and what she says. Make a list of all the verbally abusive comments you can remember, too. Try to film her, then send it out to everyone explain how it makes you feel. She is manipulative, as well as, verbally and emotionally abusive. Take care OP. ← Ŷ 87
  • 12
    FionaTheElf. 1d Your mother is a cry-bully. She pushes your buttons until you snap and then she gets to play victim. Please ask yourself what you get out of the relationship with her and her family. Then act accordingly, be it low contact-no contact. Do you want to deal with this anymore? Reply 100
  • 13
    SassiestPants • 1d My mother and I have a strained relationship too, though ours looks a bit different. For me, allowing her to control something that didn't matter to me gave me enough of a break to get things done. For you, it sounds like your mom's ultimate goal is destruction. She wants nothing unless she can ruin it for you.
  • 14
    I'm sorry that you're going through this. You deserve a better bio mom. It sounds like you have other women in your life that do care about you via your step mom and step grandma, and it's okay to lean on them for that maternal support right now.
  • 15
    This is bigger than the wedding, though I suspect that you already knew that. After all the planning I highly recommend therapy. In the meantime, I'd stop. communicating with your bio mom, or at least severely limit communication. You don't need to make an announcement, you can just stop picking up the phone until you're ready to calmly establish a boundary with her. If any of her flying monkeys come at you, I'd limit communication with them as well.
  • 16
    This wedding is about you and your fiance and you're allowed to only emotionally involve people who don't hurt you. ... Reply ✩ 62 ↓
  • 17
    Lisa_Knows Best ⚫ 1d You have the perfect opportunity here to do nothing. Keep her on silent. The best case scenario for you is that she doesn't show up because it sounds like if she does she will go out of her way to cause problems. Let her fade away. Enjoy a peaceful, joyous wedding minus her. Congratulations. Reply 23 ♡
  • 18
    stashmh 1d • Her jealousy is showing. I'm sorry that you're dealing with it but please stand up for yourself and either set boundaries that she will disrespect or uninvite and go NC altogether. Enjoy your bonus family and family to be and give no more thoughts to her abuse. Get some counseling after the wedding is over. Reply Ŵ 14 ♡
  • 19
    chicagok8 1d Set up passwords with all of your vendors so she can't go in and change things without your permission. Reply 13 ♡ Watuppeaches OP. 1d We will, I just discussed this with my fiancé yesterday.
  • 20
    These_String821. 1d I'm amazed your mom is still invited. Drop her like a bad habit from the wedding and your life. You'll know who is an ally and who is a leech when they come out either agreeing or arguing with you. Then you can properly downsize your social circle. The block button never looked better xD Reply 12

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